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I'm not even going to entertain half a piece of cake after a child screams at me that they hate me and I'm stupid. What kind of parenting gives a child the feeling that they can even do that to their parents? If your child is bullying you then the ball was dropped somewhere and you better get that mess in order. That surely doesn't mean half a piece of cake and reassurance because they expressed themselves. Utter nonsense. Express this spanking and go to your room!
Its simple,1. Diffuse by pointing out bad behavior. "Excuse me, you do not talk to me or anyone like that. Show some respect."
Identify "I know I said that and yes it is after work. The cake would have come as promised but with that attitude you have just lost the privilege of cake."
End conversation "Now sit down and think about how your attitude and manners needs to change."
I won't tolerate disrespect or poor manners.
This is just like a psychological mode of counseling. I am certified in, "L.S.C.I" or better known as Life Space Crisis Invention. It is very effective with children especially.
The correct response is: your behavior is unacceptable. Go to your room.
Long version:This is my house, I worked all day to put food on the table and I will not be disrespected. I do not raise brats. Cake is a privilege. You want cake? Earn it! Straighten up your act, go be helpful, and pray that I allow you the gift of cake.
And if you come at me like that again, especially when you see that I'm trying to take a moment after work here to relax, you'll be lucky if you ever see a cake again for the rest of your life.
The most important part isIf you promised youd give it before dinner or right at home, why are you deferring your promise.Actually thats how we make our kids big time negotiators, argumental and naggers.
This article is infuriating to me. While I agree with the points made, it doesn't address discussing with the child why their actions aren't acceptable behavior. I agree de-escalation is necessary, but the child needs to know the behavior is inappropriate and won't be tolerated.
Negotiating is common...Yet kids are the worst they've ever been.We have 20 and 30 year olds crying over an election.Guess what? There are winners and there are losers. Negotiating shows them that their tantrum gets them something. That doesn't work in real life.
Can anyone suggest. .how do I handle my child if there is difference of opinion in most of the matters. .won't child get confused?I do not agree with the way my husband raises him tolerating all his tantrums, buying whatever he wants. .not asking him to control his emotions. ..instead pampers them.. I am afraid that eventually he will become like himhusband was raised this way being the only child to his parentsThanks
Some good concepts - I think parents confuse bullying with a tantrum - bullying is relentless when it is a child. Never back down after you have made a decision or your partner has made a decision. Still all very hard to remember when they are screeching the house down around you.
Reiterating an earlier comment... So when someone, an adult, upsets me in any environment, whether that be work, on the train, in a shop...I am allowed to hit them in response and I wont suffer any consequences? Whatever. It seems odd that nobody in their right mind will take this approach with other adults but they're so happy to start doing it with children... further, this is learned behaviour. Not necessarily from the parents, but from somewhere. They've seen this type of behaviour work and give them what they want. Why not educate the child (age appropriately) that this is not a good way to speak to ANYONE (not just your parents, this isn't an ego trip), and the next time they do so firmer actions will be taken? Why does it have to resort to hitting and 'I'm the parent?' Since when did successful parenting involve hitting?